Notes to myself: Why did I (obsessively) hold onto things and refuse to adjust?

Human lives became all about being efficient, and it is pushing us closer to the edge — the edge where we forget how to enjoy our life and feel guilty for having fun. From what I know, this all started around the industrial revolution when we began to attach a price to our work hour. We stopped being task-driven creatures.

I’ve learnt on my own skin how the fixation on my routines, productiveness and certain outcomes can have a negative impact not only on me but on people around. Obsession is not a virtue or a noble trait, and it sits closer to addiction than we think. The most interesting are the stories I was telling myself to excuse the behaviour. They were always amazing and full of beautiful words, high-values, positiveness and goodness like I’m about to save the freakin’ world. I discovered that the majority of excuses had a negative nature, and I often didn’t even realise that.

So… What are the potential reasons I was trying to often overengineer my days and avoid flexibility?

Stay focused and embrace the change

It is impossible to have a bullet-proof plan for a day, go through it and stay flexible when things pop-in. I can’t get angry and announce my disapproval whenever things don’t go my way, throw my hands up, curse the sky, and tell the world how unfair this or that is. I can’t alter reality, so I just need to embrace it. Embrace uncertainty and contradiction, the unexpected.

My daily plans should be considered more as an outline, a draft of a perfect day. If something screws it up, well, shit happens. I shall deal with it and move on. Tiny adjustments might be a small change for me, but a life-saver for someone else, and who does not want to save the world and help people?

“What stands in the way becomes the way” — Marcus Aurelius

The more insistent I am on a particular outcome, the more difficult it can be to achieve it. Doing the best possible job and not being obsessed with the perfect results can free me of the pressure and release the creativity to do things differently and better.

Notes to myself

Highly accomplished and results-oriented professional with background in leadership, software engineering, automotive, photography and design.