Finding Meaning: Was the day worth living?

In the last few months, I’ve been going through a transformation that has brought to my attention many weird aspects of my life, such as questioning what is real, rethinking different aspects of life and having a real battle with the passing time. The last one is significant to me right now. I’m talking about this weird feeling that time passes unbelievably fast, uncontrollably fast. Only “moments” ago, I was a young boy, riding my bike and enjoying summer vacation. Back then, it felt like these two summer months were just an unimaginable amount of time and an eternity when I would have too much free time to do whatever I wanted, meet with friends every day, do crazy stuff, go to a lake and do typical child stuff. I can’t even describe this in words, but every time I imagine how my life looked like 30 years ago, it feels like there was nothing between that moment and now.

I’m now in my early 40s, thinking how quickly every day ends. Each is just a split of a second, and I can’t stop it. It led to the creation of a lot of weird anxieties in me and brought my focus to things I had never even considered. It got a bit worse when I woke up in the middle of the night and had a strong visualisation that I’m already 80, still an energetic fella enjoying my life, looking back on the years I spent on this planet thinking and reflecting, “That was just a split of a second. 80 years of my life are gone, and it feels I close to the end of my life now and what felt like an eternity, was actually a moment”. Where that innocent and naive perspective of time from my childhood had gone?

Paying attention to what really matters

Most of us believe we know what matters to us, have thought about it enough, and maybe even have a list. The last two months have brought me a series of reflections on what is really important in my life. Until this moment, I was convinced I already knew that. Well, I realised that it was only partially true.

Things drastically change when we stop “just” thinking about life, using only our brains and dull logic and applying it to everything surrounding us. Instead, we start feeling and letting other parts of our inner world speak up. The emotional understanding and full body sensations of the passing time might bring the worst, darkest fears from the depth of our consciousness that make us question everything we do in our lives. These are the dark moments of our souls, letting us rethink the world we already understand, collapsing it simultaneously. It’s actually a good thing…

Although it sounds scary, grim, dark, almost depression-like, it’s a good thing. The process helps us reevaluate what is truly important in our lives. We should live according to our values and aim to deeply understand what matters to us to align all parts of our existence — mind, body, heart, and soul. Not often do you get an opportunity to really stop and think about it, and it’s definitely better to do it at the age of 40 than somewhere at the end of life and realise we have never been truly ourselves.

Every day is a gift

Every day is a gift, but taking it for granted is easy.

Too often our daily life is treated like another tedious part of our journey as we look for something far in the future, hoping it will make our life worth living. I’m thinking about these expensive holidays we booked the collection of our new shiny sportscar. This big bonus will arrive at the end of the year. We let the future define us — “When X happens, I will finally do Y”, just waiting for those big moments that justify our daily struggles and lack of excitement and purpose. I used to be one of those people, often waiting for the big in the future and forgetting to live now. That made me miserable 90% of the time just so I could be happy and live for the remaining 10% of what was left.

Whilst some of us live in the future, others live in the past, remembering things that already happened and still defining them to this day. Just go on LinkedIn and find all these people proudly saying they are ex-Google, ex-Facebook, etc., or people who can’t shut up about this one event in their past about which you hear every single time you meet them. These are the things polluting our minds, and not letting them go makes a living “now” impossible.

Was the day worth living?

Every meaningful day is almost a miracle that we can create ourselves. I started feeling uneasy about how I was experiencing “now” and thinking deeply about every passing day, aware of how they felt throughout my body.

This is where the concept of “Was the day worth living” came to me. It gave me a lot of meaning and focus on the “now”. It also helped me to practice gratitude in a very unexpected way, which I realised a bit later.

At the end of each day, when I’m already in bed, I ask myself the question. All I want is the true answer from myself about the last 24 hours and how I feel about it. This is how you should think about this question in a bit more detail:

• Was it a good day, and I feel optimistic about it?
• Have I done something for my mind?
  Whether it’s learning something new, exploring new ideas, solving challenges at work or life, or sharing my knowledge with someone?
• Have I done something for my heart?
  Emotionally connected with someone, spending quality time with loved ones, letting myself feel?
• Have I done something for my body?
  Proper exercise, gym day, plenty of walks in nature, get a body massage, get appropriate rest if needed?
• Have I done something for my soul?
  Morning meditation, exploring new areas of my inner self, allowing myself to feel deeply, enjoying beautiful moments throughout the day?
• Would I be happy to relive this day if I had an opportunity?
• Was the day worth living?

Was there something I could change?

Without judgment, without punishment. In the end, we are all humans and have our weaknesses. Finding these little things that could be better is essential, and we can gradually improve. The first step to making a difference is to notice what stirs our souls and brings our energy down. One day at a time. We will change nothing if all we focus on is the massive picture of unlimited challenges that overwhelm us. We will end up just doing nothing — what’s the point if there is so much?

Simple

The simple idea is to bring our attention to NOW, and that’s the only thing that really matters. The past is gone; the future might not even come. We can only change or improve something if we are aware of it. Honesty with ourselves when answering the question is crucial, but so is making sure we don’t only listen to our mind but also give a voice to other parts of our existence. It requires practice.

Remember, you will only experience an average of 75 summers throughout your life, and we know that’s not a big number. Let that help you define what really matters and what you are going to do about it.